As much as I cared about fashion in the 90s and early 2000s, it wasn’t my vibe to be overly done up. This was mostly due to my feminist mother not wanting me to conform to “patriarchal standards of beauty” when everyone else my age was experimenting with makeup. So I wasn’t allowed to pierce my ears, wear mascara or lipstick. I got my nose pierced at 14 because this was a loophole in her no piercing rule, and she paid me to take it out.
I took the money knowing that I could just put my nose ring back in when I was back at boarding school. Her no makeup mandate was confusing, because as a little girl I would watch her getting ready to go out in the evening, sitting at the bathroom mirror as she spritzed perfume and listening to the click of her heels walking out the door. I was enraptured by this mysterious ritual of becoming beautiful, and didn’t understand why she would deny me something she herself practiced. Did she feel trapped by it and wanted to protect me? Or was she confused, too?
I wondered at what point it would be ok to embody femininity, and if there was an appropriate age when sexuality would be explained to me too. At fifteen I’d watch my friend Danielle expertly apply eyeshadow thinking she was the most sophisticated person I knew.
By the time I met burlesque queen Zorita, she had been expertly employing the tricks of the feminine trade for 70 plus years and had plenty to say about my “lazy” appearance. She felt I needed to wear more elegant shoes, curl my hair, improve my posture and project more glamor. She also thought it necessary to school me on the art of handling men (though honestly, the lessons didn’t land until way later.) Zorita operated on the premise that men are out to get the most they can from you, and give the least. Therefore, the tables must be turned. For example, if a man wants to take you out to dinner, the least he could do is pony up $500. “Well, little girls need new shoes, baby needs new shoes.” Zorita would say.
Below the paywall in this post the story continues with…how to be a successful sugar baby, Riot GRRRLs, the era before “sex positivity” became a buzzword, strippers and a film clip from Pretty Things of Zorita and Lois de Fee about a 20th century sugar daddy with a famous last name…if u want to read/listen/watch u gotta:
