I have a small storage unit in Melbourne, brimming with my own vintage collection, and all of the endless other stuff I wasn't able to part with before I moved Stateside to be with my husband. Now all I think is why did I bother tetrising so many meaningless things into a locked up room on the outskirts of a city I will never live in again? It's a pain having it there, a literal monthly payment, and an annoying part of my to do list for when I'm next down under. The irony is I barely miss a single possession stored in there. If I could go back in time I would burn it all, except for that pair of shoes that used to belong to Marilyn, a couple of letters, maybe the odd vintage dress, but nothing too major. Besides now I get to find new treasure, like a certain Sonia Rykiel brooch ;) xx
Well I do still have a massive storage space with enough clothes to do a couple more sales ;) sometimes you need time to pass before you can revisit and purge. We aren’t built to do it all at once — it took me almost 4 years to leave LA even after I knew I was done with it 🕊️
Thanks for writing this. I am going through a similar process after the death of my mother and becoming more involved in the responsibilities of my dad’s home. The process of sorting through a lifetime of their possessions in addition to 20 years of my own young adult life has been exhausting. All the sense memories. So draining. Even the joyful moments like discovering some late 90s Miu Miu in great condition. The stuff I am hanging onto are my mom’s drawings and some of her clothing (she had the best taste). I sold her piano because it doesn’t have happy memories for me and I want it to have a new life. I’ve been selling most of my archive on eBay and now it feels really good to let go, even though letting go felt uncomfortable at first. Sometimes the universe makes the choice for me in the form of damage due to improper storage and it gets thrown out. I have more empathy for the 20 year old me and how attachment to things was very intense and important when I was that age vs my early 40s. I used to live in LA and to me it’s a place everyone at some point realizes is like staying too long at an underwhelming party that everyone keeps thinking is about to get good.
Every time I visit my parents' home I am daunted by the future that awaits me cleaning it out. My mother is both a true collector (I'm keeping all the Bakelite jewelry) and maybe a touch of the hoarder as well. She has started insisting we take items home when we visit, and has begun selling a bit too. I do regret that we don't have more of my grandmother's things, so I am selectively going to save a few things for my children. But if the memories are painful, or no longer needed, yes, release them.
Going through my fathers house (which my grandparents built & I grew up in) after he died was an intense clean out of 3 generations but also amazing to discover all the treasures — Bakelite is impossible to find anymore! I used to wear Bakelite bangles with 1940s print dresses as a teenager in the late 90s. But I think I’m most attached to ephemeral mementoes and garden plants — I transplanted 26 rose bushes when my dad died. So if there’s anything unusual that you could give another life but takes up less space, something to consider 🥀🫶🏼
First, yes, there is definitely an aura above you in that film clip. WOW!
Second, I've been feeling this itch to downsize quite a bit lately and I'm stymied on where to begin. Art and Fashion monographs? No. T-shirts? Maybe. Cashmere sweaters? Ummmm.... I definitely should focus on the notebooks, papers, etc — I even have old essays from college that I've kept because they're good, and because I'd have to scan them into the computer now to digitize them. But still, do I NEED them? Probably not. I've learned that paper is often stagnant energy; is this why my former boss who hoarded all things paper gave me agita? Likely. Do I want stagnant energy around? HARD NO. Guess that's my answer. Thank you for this post and enjoy the lightness.
Just, wow. This is so incredibly timely for me Liz. I'm working on the 2nd draft of my memoir and I just published an updated chapter 2 about the administrative process after my husband died in 2021. We were in the middle of selling our apartment in NYC when he died form cancer, so I had to close without him. I went through our apartment and and all his things about a month after he died. I have always been a minimalist and I don't attach very much meaning to things. I know I will have to make some additions to this chapter because I didn't include what I decided to keep, which was almost nothing. Like you, goodbye wedding china and furniture, many years of my journals, his clothes and shoes, college diploma plagues, and many books. I kept his cufflinks, a few of his silk ties, the baseball cap he always wore, Valentine's Day, birthday and anniversary cards, his old Jansport backpack that he carried when we traveled, and his wedding ring (I keep it with mine and my engagement ring in my jewelry box - the cover photo for the post is a photo I took of our rings a few weeks after he died). I moved from Morningside Heights to the UWS (less than 3 miles away) but a whole different world. Sending you blessings as you make a new start physically and emotionally. Curating a new future is takes courage, and we are both doing all the things.
I’m sorry that you lost your husband, so devastating I can’t imagine 🤍 & I’m glad that you took his Jansport as a reminder of all the adventure and travels that are still to come for you ❤️
I feel this so hard! Also going through a period of Letting Go in my life, after my father's death last year + relationship troubles. It's time to be free and just...Be! Sending love to all those going through a similar process. 💜
Nature abhors a vacuum--so think of all the fresh, new energy that will rush in to replace what you've gotten rid of. It sounds like you're in a good place for good things to happen. And they will!
I have a small storage unit in Melbourne, brimming with my own vintage collection, and all of the endless other stuff I wasn't able to part with before I moved Stateside to be with my husband. Now all I think is why did I bother tetrising so many meaningless things into a locked up room on the outskirts of a city I will never live in again? It's a pain having it there, a literal monthly payment, and an annoying part of my to do list for when I'm next down under. The irony is I barely miss a single possession stored in there. If I could go back in time I would burn it all, except for that pair of shoes that used to belong to Marilyn, a couple of letters, maybe the odd vintage dress, but nothing too major. Besides now I get to find new treasure, like a certain Sonia Rykiel brooch ;) xx
Well I do still have a massive storage space with enough clothes to do a couple more sales ;) sometimes you need time to pass before you can revisit and purge. We aren’t built to do it all at once — it took me almost 4 years to leave LA even after I knew I was done with it 🕊️
Thanks for writing this. I am going through a similar process after the death of my mother and becoming more involved in the responsibilities of my dad’s home. The process of sorting through a lifetime of their possessions in addition to 20 years of my own young adult life has been exhausting. All the sense memories. So draining. Even the joyful moments like discovering some late 90s Miu Miu in great condition. The stuff I am hanging onto are my mom’s drawings and some of her clothing (she had the best taste). I sold her piano because it doesn’t have happy memories for me and I want it to have a new life. I’ve been selling most of my archive on eBay and now it feels really good to let go, even though letting go felt uncomfortable at first. Sometimes the universe makes the choice for me in the form of damage due to improper storage and it gets thrown out. I have more empathy for the 20 year old me and how attachment to things was very intense and important when I was that age vs my early 40s. I used to live in LA and to me it’s a place everyone at some point realizes is like staying too long at an underwhelming party that everyone keeps thinking is about to get good.
& im so sorry for your loss, its very painful going through our loved ones belongings, sending you strength !
Same to you. Thank you again and wishing you well on your next adventures and I can’t wait to read your new book
Love this reply and the party of LA has been over for a few years now 😂
So true!
That's an angel over you cheering you on, bravo darling -- well done!
❤️💋
Loved this so much.
Thank you 😊
Every time I visit my parents' home I am daunted by the future that awaits me cleaning it out. My mother is both a true collector (I'm keeping all the Bakelite jewelry) and maybe a touch of the hoarder as well. She has started insisting we take items home when we visit, and has begun selling a bit too. I do regret that we don't have more of my grandmother's things, so I am selectively going to save a few things for my children. But if the memories are painful, or no longer needed, yes, release them.
Going through my fathers house (which my grandparents built & I grew up in) after he died was an intense clean out of 3 generations but also amazing to discover all the treasures — Bakelite is impossible to find anymore! I used to wear Bakelite bangles with 1940s print dresses as a teenager in the late 90s. But I think I’m most attached to ephemeral mementoes and garden plants — I transplanted 26 rose bushes when my dad died. So if there’s anything unusual that you could give another life but takes up less space, something to consider 🥀🫶🏼
First, yes, there is definitely an aura above you in that film clip. WOW!
Second, I've been feeling this itch to downsize quite a bit lately and I'm stymied on where to begin. Art and Fashion monographs? No. T-shirts? Maybe. Cashmere sweaters? Ummmm.... I definitely should focus on the notebooks, papers, etc — I even have old essays from college that I've kept because they're good, and because I'd have to scan them into the computer now to digitize them. But still, do I NEED them? Probably not. I've learned that paper is often stagnant energy; is this why my former boss who hoarded all things paper gave me agita? Likely. Do I want stagnant energy around? HARD NO. Guess that's my answer. Thank you for this post and enjoy the lightness.
Start with what you’re most resisting ! 🫶🏼💋
Always look forward to your posts!
Just, wow. This is so incredibly timely for me Liz. I'm working on the 2nd draft of my memoir and I just published an updated chapter 2 about the administrative process after my husband died in 2021. We were in the middle of selling our apartment in NYC when he died form cancer, so I had to close without him. I went through our apartment and and all his things about a month after he died. I have always been a minimalist and I don't attach very much meaning to things. I know I will have to make some additions to this chapter because I didn't include what I decided to keep, which was almost nothing. Like you, goodbye wedding china and furniture, many years of my journals, his clothes and shoes, college diploma plagues, and many books. I kept his cufflinks, a few of his silk ties, the baseball cap he always wore, Valentine's Day, birthday and anniversary cards, his old Jansport backpack that he carried when we traveled, and his wedding ring (I keep it with mine and my engagement ring in my jewelry box - the cover photo for the post is a photo I took of our rings a few weeks after he died). I moved from Morningside Heights to the UWS (less than 3 miles away) but a whole different world. Sending you blessings as you make a new start physically and emotionally. Curating a new future is takes courage, and we are both doing all the things.
I’m sorry that you lost your husband, so devastating I can’t imagine 🤍 & I’m glad that you took his Jansport as a reminder of all the adventure and travels that are still to come for you ❤️
I feel this so hard! Also going through a period of Letting Go in my life, after my father's death last year + relationship troubles. It's time to be free and just...Be! Sending love to all those going through a similar process. 💜
Nature abhors a vacuum--so think of all the fresh, new energy that will rush in to replace what you've gotten rid of. It sounds like you're in a good place for good things to happen. And they will!
🥹🫶🏼🙏🏼